Ongoing coverage of last week's Starling-DeLay Symposium on Violin Studies at Juilliard
Note: I first posted this a couple days ago, right before the forum upgrade. The other post is no longer accessible and I wasn't able to read all the responses, so as requested I'm posting it again. Thanks!
I've been taking weekly private lessons in a music school for almost 4 years now. I'm an adult beginner in violin but I played sax when I was younger and I also am self-taught on some other instruments as I really love music.
I'm making good progress with the violin except for one point: relaxing. I don't know why but I'm stressed to play in front of others, including my teacher who is super nice and not stressful at all. I'm just now, after 3 years of lessons with, starting to be less stressed in my lessons. But when playing in front of others I typically get stressed. I stiffen up, my bowing goes bad, the sound goes bad, then I get more stressed and start sweating. And then I start stressing about the fact that i'm stressing, etc.
I'm currently working on Telemann Partita 2a for a recital coming up in June. I had a few practice sessions with a cellist who will accompany me and for some silly reason I was stressed when playing with him (he has a very good level so I guess I was a bit intimidated I don't know why, he's very nice and supportive of me).
I don't mind public speaking and even enjoy it. I often give presentations for my work, training sessions, etc. No problem. But with the violin, I tense up and that makes for a pretty bad sound which creates a feedback loop of even more stress. My teacher said in the last practice with the cellist that I was playing in apnoea (not breathing!).
The Telemann partita 2 isn't super difficult for me, I can play it well at home. So I really think it's just a psychological thing. My teacher said she picked an easier piece for me that way it'd be easier for me in the recital.
I purchased a book called "Performance Success" that I just started. My teacher has suggested to work on my breathing and to exaggerate a loose wrist and playing with my bow hand a bit out in front that way when I stress I can keep some of the flexibility when I get stressed. I really want to succeed in my first recital as I feel this is really holding me back. I know the audience will be composed of mostly of parents of the children that will be playing and they'll probably be anxious for me to finish so they can see their kids, so I shouldn't have any pressure at all, but I do. :) I've recently started learning about meditation to see if that can help and I read "The Inner Game of Tennis" and "The Inner Game of Music" which help a little.
I really want to learn to relax more and enjoy my recital and even participate in more. My daughter is learning violin too and her teacher said I could do a duet with her but I didn't want to because I knew I'd be stressful. I'd like to solve this problem so that I can play more in public. Sometimes I think maybe the violin just isn't for me because of this issue, or I will just be limited to not playing in public.
All suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.
Arrange a semi-circle of chairs and visualize the folks you care about most, you would have the most helpful things to say about your playing, and/or one of your harshest critics. Imagine playing to those people, and think about what they might say to you?
For me when my shoulders get stiff, I make use of the down bow to actively pull it down and away from my ear and try to keep it there. I also realized my tone gets very nasally so I open my throat (like saying "o" or "ah") with my mouth closed because playing is very similar to singing and you need to keep an open sound.
I also recently discovered the joys of busking which really helped me in front of a formal crowd. Most people are willing to be pleased when they hear or watch a street performer and they don't care about little slip-ups as long as they see you enjoying yourself and the music is fairly decent. You really feel yourself loosen up and remembering that you're playing because you enjoy music, not to make other people happy.
Hope this helps and best of luck!
Ella Yu - This is totally true. When I see kids mess up I don't really give it much thought, they pick right back up and finish. So that's what I'll do too.
Gene & Jasmine - These are great ideas. I've already started visualizing playing in the recital, I've read in 3 different books lately that the brain doesn't know the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined. So the theory is if we visualize ourself being relaxed and playing well, it will happen. I think a lot of it is just psychological. I've been avoiding this for 4 years now and so it gets bigger and bigger. Time to face the fear.
I'd love to busk but I'm not at that level yet. I have thought about taking my violin to a neighborhood park and playing, but not asking for money or anything.
I'll post an update on my progress. I have one month and since I already have the music down I can focus on the relaxation part and making my performance more musical.
Second, you should just close your eyes and use your heart to sing along. This way, I can calm down myself, although my heart is still beating so fast. And I hope it'll do the same for you too.
Third, as Ray Chen once said, you should try to practice with your costume. Because when you're practice in your room, you're wearing pajamas or comfortable clothes, but when you perform, you'll wear tuxedo, shirt or anything.
Four, try to practice after daily workouts, because it's when your heart beats so fast and learn to control it. Inhale. Exhale.
The last is my personal thing, I remember when I was going to perform my first student recital last year and I was all the way too nervous, and my fingers were so stiff and the air conditioner was right above my seat. And my teacher was out in hospital that dayy, so all I can do is just to text her. And then she says something in chinese but it means, "Wherever there is a stage, I'm there too." and so I kept saying those words in my mind when I played because it makes my nape hair stood up (even now when I wrote this) and I hope that it could do the same to the audience. And although my recital wasn't perfect (my bow was bouncing, still) but my friends said that it was really touching and that they were almost cried! (well, it was just a chit chat overall, I know, but still, it was really something really nice to be hear!)
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I am basically interested in fiddle, but even so I was incredibly nervous at first. Now, though, I go to a couple of pub sessions and joining in with others on things I know - and sometimes having to play so that someone else has some support - has made all the difference to my confidence.
I know it's different for classical music. Do they have any 'weekend schools' and violin camps where you are? My first access of confidence was attending a folk fiddle weekend. I was very very nervous, until I realised that I was somewhere in the middle of the group in terms of ability. And again, my support was needed when we did a piece in the Sunday orchestra - you can't let them down if you're part of a team.